Frame Your Mind, Shape Your Destiny
When you wake up in the morning, are you excited to continue moving forward in your life? Or miserable because life never seems to get better?
The thoughts never seem to stop. You know the ones. They tell you, no matter how hard you try, you will never amount to anything. This is your self-talk. By the time you sit down to try and do something, your energy is gone. Our mind is spiking our cortisol all day. Time goes by and nothing we do to be proactive in our lives seems to work. The goals that we set for ourselves never seem obtainable. Worse yet, they get further away because of the time we’ve wasted.
I wrote this essay to help people face their negative mind. To silence the voices once and for all. I want to help you become your best self. To reach your full potential in this life. Let us begin…
Every day we engage in conversations. We do this with the people around us and ourselves. The thing is, few people realize the conversations going on in their heads.
Throughout the day, we are holding full-blown conversations with ourselves. No matter the activity, there is a voice inside of us.
Even right now, as I write this essay, there is a voice in my head. It is judging the words I type.
No, you don’t need to check into a mental institution. (Well, maybe some of you). Everyone reading this has these conversations. So, let’s figure out how to maximize our lives by using this voice to our advantage.
We have conversations going on in our head all day. Sometimes, even many ones at once. How many are negative and irrelevant? Identify the ones that are not adding value and discard them. The focus should be on positive thoughts. Ones that add value to, not only our lives but those around us.
One of the best things I have done in my life was recognizing these voices. I, then, chose which ones are important to my mission. The more positive I treated myself the more got done. If I negatively treated myself, I was crying months later because I wasted so much time. Whatever you are doing, the way you frame it is what will determine how your life goes. If you frame a small problem as a big one, you will feel anxious and depressed.
History has shown that the way we frame our thoughts affects our existence. Science has proven that the way we speak to ourselves can improve many aspects of our lives. By positively speaking to ourselves, we are happier, get more done, and develop true self-esteem. We don’t even realize it, but it is fundamental to a successful life.
The issue we find ourselves in, unfortunately, is that most of us don’t have positive thoughts all day. We have negative ones. When our thoughts dwell on adversity, we are powerless. Minuscule tasks now feel monumental. Issues we may not even have, decide to spring up as well. Negativity begins in the brain. It is destroying you through your thoughts and words.
Throughout this series, we will begin to see exactly how to change these thoughts into our favor. We are going to change the jargon of our mind to elevate our lives. No Woo-Woo or rah-rah stuff. Just the practical advice that I can give you to get a happier life through positive thinking.
We won’t be going over mantras that only work for some. I will be bringing you the best advice I can. The stuff that I use every day. The topics discussed may not be all sunshine and rainbows but they will be genuine.
Overcome Failure and Be Successful:
Our mental state is derived from our thoughts. Control the thoughts, control life. Self-Talk used in the right direction ensures the brain stays positive.
The experiences we have, good or bad, are determined in our mind. Our thoughts and emotions are the same. Sometimes, they get illogical.
How many times have we had horrible conversations with ourselves? “I am such an idiot!” “No one can count on me!” or the worst “I don’t want to live anymore!”
How many times have we blown an event out of proportion? Something that wasn’t even major to our life in the long run.
You hear that voice answering the questions I just asked? Ladies and Gentlemen say Hello to your Self-Talk.
As we go about our day, we do lots of things that are irrational. We repeat this process even though we know it is wrong. Additionally, we do not feel our emotions gradually becoming negative from adverse thoughts.
The thoughts are not always out in the open. They are not waving their hands in front of your face telling you they are there. Some of the time the thoughts are faint, yet still dragging us down. You can be in the middle of a project and think, “I am not good at this! Why do I even try?” or dwell on the fact that what are doing isn’t good enough. This process will leave us in a miserable state. These negative thoughts will have us feeling crippled and powerless. Sometimes even psyching us out so much we have a panic attack from worry.
None of this will make your life any better. As long as they are there, you are at odds with yourself. If you repeat this kind of self-talk, the smallest problems seem like the biggest. We have adapted our lives to think that these thoughts are normal. So much so, the negativity flows through us on autopilot. We never stop and think about how this is affecting us daily. Thus, when the day is complete and we are ready for bed, our body floods with even more anxiety at all the stuff we did not do.
Let’s take a simple example like mowing the lawn. It is one of those scorching hot days. Work was overwhelming and your commute home sucked. The entire day you built anxiety over having to go home and finish this task. We know that the chore is only going to take 15-30 minutes to complete. Not to mention, we bought a riding lawnmower last year and don’t even need to be exerting any physical effort. Our chore list is massive and this is only one of the things we need to get done. Cutting the grass is nothing major but these small chores add up in our brain to be something massive. We then neglect the important things becoming weakened by life instead of invigorated.
Why do we oppose things in our lives? It is because we have built up a scenario for ourselves that is shrouded in negativity. The phantom that is holding us back from enjoying our lives is our brain. It is setting up roadblocks from a positive, fulfilled life.
The Dialect Of The Mind:
Self-Talk doesn’t affect our mind in the moment. It burrows deep into our psyche. After setting up shop, it wreaks havoc on our lives. Negativity ruins every facet of our behavior.
In the real world, our conversations with people and ourselves determine our lives. It also determines our feelings from moment to moment. Do not assume anything. You know what happens when you assume. Do not let the brain dictate a negative reality.
When you feel life has wronged you, you will behave within that paradigm. You will see hardship when there isn’t any. The work you want to be doing in life will stop. Instead, you will ask the question, Why should I even try? Your entire journey will be dealing with fake traumas. Reality will be skewed into oblivion.
What happens if we take the other route? If we base our existence on the positive? When we view opportunities as power, we thrive. Hard work becomes second nature. We work harder than anyone we know without even realizing it. The process is our main focus because it is all we have. Success becomes something that feels attainable. Trusting the process is the most important part of progress. Mind you, this is only a minor part in the mindset of a successful person. In my eyes, anything that makes the journey more enjoyable is a win.
I have laid out two mindsets for you here. If you are in boat number one, don’t fret and continue reading!
Problems are born in the mind. Yes, some things are out of our control. Some times are tragic. I am talking about the typical hardships one goes through. We can choose how we react in every situation. They can be an annoyance or an opportunity. You can learn from your problems or resent them. Once again, the reality is in your control.
If you stop reacting to nonsense, you master the dialect of the mind.
Are you going to accept the fate that you have created? The one filled with negative assumptions? Or are you going to change the dialect of your mind to one that builds a successful future? Can you change the voice in your head to stop playing make-believe and start playing the long game?
When you seek validation from outside sources, happiness is never more than a dream. The world will be void of all the things we want: success, happiness, and self-esteem. Instead, you will live on a roller coaster of content when others are and dread when they are not. Life will deal you many hands. Will we use those hands as a crutch or a stepping stone to be free? Validation from others is a trap that will leave us spinning our wheels. One day we will look back as if frozen in time. Yes, we’re older but that is the only progression. What if all this time, the thing that would give us the most fulfillment was actually inside of us? You can think what I am saying is mumbo jumbo but I’ll ask this as well: What is the alternative?
This series is going to need you to stop seeking external validation. It will ask you to get it from within. Good thing you already have all the answers somewhere in there. No more waiting around and hoping one day we will find peace of mind. That already exists in you, it is time to bring it out.
Remapping Reality:
So far, I have talked a lot about our mind. I assure you it is for a reason.
People have discovered that our thoughts can change the physicality of the mind. Scientists have made profound discoveries about the brain and continue to do so all the time.
From birth til now, the brain has created roadways in your head. We call this our “autopilot.” Our thoughts are the cars driving these roadways. We either get where we are heading or drive like a reckless maniac. The way we stay on the path is to keep our thoughts positive. Make sure we are always steering in the right direction. The brain has its own GPS, but we have to drive the car. Do not be a crappy driver.
Our “autopilot” behaviors happen without even thinking about them. We use words in the same way, good or bad. If we use powerful words to keep us confident, they will soon happen on autopilot. This isn’t some woo woo mantra to repeat, but a new way of being.
As I said with the car example, always be steering your brain to the destination. Become mindful in the discussion going on in your head. Keep the chatter upbeat, forgiving, and confident, regardless of the outcome. This is going to take being proactive with your thoughts. Work hard to progressively change your thought process.
The goal from now on is to always have thoughts that can get you closer to your goals, never further away. When we view problems as opportunities, we want to complete them. We begin creating the life we want. The control is back in our hands. Reality is being dictated by us, not how we perceive it from others. You have seen people become successful before right? What type of mindset do you think they have? These people have cultivated a reality in which the sky is the limit. Yes, it has been said many times, but the truth is this stuff works. When you take time to be proactive towards something beneficial, good things happen.
No matter what you are going through now, it is all about your perception. An obstacle is only as good or bad as we frame it in our mind. The energy must always be coming from within regardless of the chaos from the outside.
The energy you use in every task you perform needs to come from this new reality. The one we have created through positive thoughts. We are a beacon of good vibes both in our heads and to others. The new reality is our new home. Embrace the feeling that comes with it. I have said many times in this series, you can look at problems as detriments or opportunities. When we have a good conversation going on in our heads, we will gravitate to look for solutions. The will to learn increases and our experiences become better. Feelings of aggravation fall away as we become relaxed from the things we can not control. It is not good or bad anymore, only what’s happening, how to frame it in the positive, and what we can learn from it.
Talk Is Everything:
It is time for us to begin creating this new paradigm. Instead of letting stories play out in your head, become mindful of what’s going on. We are not going to make up stories about ourselves, others, or our surroundings anymore. Instead, we are going to throw all that nonsense to the wayside. Replace that old way of thinking with the power within.
The future is unpredictable. We do not know what is going to happen. We do not know who we will become months or even years from now. Thus, dwelling on these things is counterproductive to our mission. We aren’t going to question if we “could” do anything anymore. We are going to get it done. The moment we think about what could happen is when we are taken out of the present moment and into an anxious state.
I told myself over and over for years that I was going to lose weight. Anyone who would listen, I would tell them how I was going to shred all these pounds. I was all talk and no action for years. I wasn’t going to eat bad food, I wouldn’t binge eat anymore, I wouldn’t let my loved ones down again. Guess what? Reality hit and I failed. It’s easy to say what you will and will not do. The problem is sticking to the plan and achieving those goals through our actions. I hated looking like a liar to my family for all that time. Embarrassment was an understatement. And guess who is there to conjure up every bad thought it could? That’s right, your negative self talk. Old thoughts die hard. It is in these moments when our thoughts are the loudest. Sure, it is easy to stay positive when things are going good. The times when we are face to face with adversity is when we need to be mindful the most. We need a plan to execute on during these times.
The easiest plan of action is to start speaking in absolutes. When you use wording like “I am…” instead of “I will…”, something shifts the mentality. It helps maintain your power dynamic to stay on track with your goals.
We can train our dialect to ensure we stay on track. Thoughts become a strength instead of a weakness. The language we use is the person we aspire to. When we train our dialect to help with our goals, we get an immediate in-the-moment boost. Remember, keep the talk in positive absolutes. “I am a writer.”, “I am a fit person.” This is why this process works better than mantras. You speak what you want into existence, not by saying I want but I AM! Your old way of self-talk was hoping to one day become something. Not to mention the demons it brought with it. The new way of self-talk reassures us. It tells us we are what we want to be, right here right now. One wants, the other is. One dictates their reality through speech, the other wants a different reality altogether. From now on, try speaking in these absolutes. Let us move away from talk that is passive and pessimistic forever. When your mind is not helping your cause, realize what is going on and fix it.
Putting It All Together:
Thank you for reading Chapter 1 on Positive Thoughts. In the upcoming chapters, I will continue to build on the ideas introduced here. All the remaining topics are things that I strive to do every day. If you continue reading, I promise, you will strengthen, enrich, and uplift your life. The way to do so is through action every day.
I will be detailing stories from my own life to drive home the points I make. The best way to read self-help is to take the principals discussed and think about how they fit into your own life. When you come across something intriguing, stop and think about how you relate to it. You put a puzzle together piece by piece by analyzing how to develop the final product. Our puzzle is our experiences and our product is our life. Do not breeze through this book without thinking about how these topics relate to your own life.
By using this book as more than words on a page, you will begin to change in ways never thought possible. Let this book be your personal experiment. As I said before, this won’t be all sunshine and rainbows. Some of the material may piss you off. I assure you, if you follow the plan there is light at the end of the tunnel.
If you are easily upset or not able to face your problems head-on, please do not waste your time and give another book a try! I will not take offense.
I want you to be able to see how powerful Positive Thoughts can be in your life. We are not going to get into how destructive thoughts are created, but we will see why these patterns arise.
This book will need you to reflect – to understand how your thoughts affect your life. We will connect our emotions to the language we use, finally being able to understand why we act the way we do.
As I do with every book I read, I recommend taking notes on the points that stand out to you. That way you can come back to them and immerse yourself in the parts that resonate with you the most. I am an everyday man with everyday problems. Thus, this book should strike a chord with the majority of people who read it. Every chapter will be self-contained so you can pick and choose where to begin your journey. Never be afraid to come back to certain parts at different times for different issues. Most of the time change doesn’t happen until we need it most.
I understand that life is busy and I don’t expect you to keep your nose buried in this book at all times. Use this book as needed. When times get tough, remember the words on the following pages. Treat it as a reference for those difficult times.
We are about to begin a journey to develop the life we want. Let’s begin and thank you for reading!
Support The Seftimor Blog by using these links:
Thank you, everyone, for reading! If you want to follow me on any of the platforms I create on, you can find them here:
- MORE BLOG POSTS: https://seftimorlive.com
- MEDIUM ➜ http://medium.com/@seftimor
- TWITTER ➜ https://twitter.com/seftimor
- INSTAGRAM ➜ https://www.instagram.com/seftimor/
- YOUTUBE ➜ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHgrM70t7it4orZUrD7Cv-w
- MIXER ➜ https://mixer.com/seftimor
- PODCAST ➜ https://anchor.fm/seftimor
- FACEBOOK ➜ https://fb.gg/seftimor
