Life Control Through Eagerness:
Ending The Victim Mentality:
The life you live is the one you tolerate.
What is going on in your life to stop you from living a happy life? Are the problems so bad that we need to stop being joyful?
My life was bleak a few years ago. I didn’t want to stay in my family business. My weight got out of control, peaking at about 100+ pounds overweight. The wife and I were fighting over nonsense. What did I do? I started making changes in areas of my life that needed it. A plan of action needed to be set. The problems I faced needed to end.
The bottom line was I was choosing the life I wanted to live. Working a job I didn’t like or stuffing my face with unhealthy food, these were all choices. If I made these things the norm, then I was saying it was ok these habits continue.
The excuses I made were ridiculous. They were keeping me in a life of comfort. My life was spiraling and I was engineering it to remain that way. I defended living in mediocrity.
Every single day I created more problems for myself even though I was trying to fix the current ones.
Our situations do not define us, but they reveal the truth to our actions.
I decided to take the reigns of my life again. The old process was killing me and keeping me unhappy. I destroyed the old and began rebuilding the new.
I rebuilt by:
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Accepting I create my own success
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Not comparing myself to others
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Not seeking external validation
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Understanding I am in control of my future regardless of my past
All of the above helped me start living the life I wanted. The victim mentality ended, there was no one to blame but myself. Not to mention, putting all that stress on yourself gets you nowhere. I understood that there will be things that are out of my control. While some are more tragic than others, I can’t dwell on these misfortunes.
We can be happy regardless of the past. The first step is to be proactive in life and accept all that comes with it. There will be situations where nothing we do would produce a different outcome. What we can control is how we react after our misfortunes happen.
No matter the excuse we tell ourselves, life is all about what happens to us and how we react to it. Be prepared for the worst and act accordingly.
We accept our lives for what they are in the present. For the future, we prepare to face it with our new knowledge. At the end of the day, it is all about our internal spirit. The consent that we are in full control of how we act and think. No one is going to do the hard work for you. We need to go forward in life and build the future we desire.
By accepting that we are ready to change, we open ourselves to the opportunities we seek. When we focus on things we cannot control, we feel regret and remorse from not accomplishing our goals.
Yes, there will be times that our mind makes excuses for not living how we want. When this happens, understand that it is coming from within our comfort zone. The brain will keep us stuck in the same victim mentality we have been trying to break free from. I have fallen into this trap many times, even when life seems great. The fear of the future, of getting what I wanted, didn’t seem right. I felt like I didn’t deserve to live a fulfilled life. All my past traumas and all my fears of what’s to come kept me in a crippling state.
The reason why I tell you that you can break free is that I have done it myself. My story is here to be helpful so you too can break free from the victim mentality. We all have something we are great at! It is time to realize this and move forward. Let this article be the light to the flame of your passion.
Believe with every ounce of your soul that you are ready to attack the day. Life will be tough at times. The ability to push through tough times will open up the world to us. The sun will always rise in the morning, are you going to stay a victim or prepare for success?
Be Eager:
Destiny comes to those who are eager to accept it!
You have two choices in this life. Seek out your fate or have it happen to you. No matter what you do, time never stops. Worse yet, all those regrets you have are going to follow you. Life is going to happen to you or you are going to dominate it.
I tell everyone that comes to me for advice: You need to be eager for change. It has to consume in every fiber of your being.
Before even continuing this book, ask yourself: Are you eager for change? Do you have the drive and discipline that so many others don’t?
When you sit back and repeat that to yourself, do you feel a shift from within? I hope you do, because that, my friends, is where passion lies. The power we have with our language (as referenced in Chapter 1), is unstoppable.
Things I have gotten passionate about by being eager to change:
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Producing content
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Hitting the gym three times a week
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Doing yoga three times a week
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Interacting positively with my family and friends
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Leaving my prior job to search and get hired at a new one
I had to take a step back and ask myself, “Am I ready to live the life I have always dreamed of? Am I willing to accept my fate or go out and take it?” The only way to start is to light that fire and keep feeding it. We need to turn the switch on and keep it on at all times.
When we think of ourselves, we think in the negative. The thoughts that consume us are ones of laziness and/or self-doubt. The truth is we are not eager to change and escape our comfort zone. We do not trust that we already have everything we need to pursue our passions.
Do not view this thought process as a burden, let’s bring out the eagerness to get what we want. The match that will light the flame. You are the key to unlock the door to the future. Do you remember when you were a child? You were overwhelmed by curiosity to try anything and everything new. As we get older, as life unfolds for us, we lose that childlike wonder.
When we are filled with the eagerness to succeed, NOTHING can stand in our way! Not even our self-doubt.
Take a second to think about what we discussed in this section. No matter what we are going through, what cards we have been dealt, if we are eager to achieve our dreams, to open the doors once closed, we realize we can pursue anything we want to. None of the prior circumstances matter and we can finally begin taking steps to what we desire.
It is why I used such simple words as being eager to light this fire I keep speaking about.
Answer me this, ladies and gentlemen, are you eager to get what you want in life?
I Am Not Eager:
You may be questioning if you are eager to change. There is nothing wrong with this. By realizing if you have found your passion or not is half the battle!
Do you want to live a life of mediocrity? No. Are we ok living an unhealthy lifestyle? No. Do we want our relationships to flourish and go places never thought possible? Yes.
Say it out loud: I AM NOT EAGER!!!
The realization of not being eager brings out the determination we want. This will allow us to attack the situation with all we have. The ships have been burnt to the ground and the only way out is through action.
When you commit to not live in your comfort zone anymore, amazing things happen. We tap into this other self that allows us to make the change needed by any means necessary. By becoming a little pissed off at a mediocre life, you muster up the courage to build a new one. When you have hit rock bottom is when you will stop the bullshit and start doing. The eagerness for life comes from this place. It does not matter if you think you can or you can’t when you have no other options. Understand that being in a rut is still a blessing. One which can fuel amazing accomplishments once thought impossible.
Depending on where you are at in life, you can get the motivation you need from either route. If you are uneager than you want to pull yourself up from the bottom. When you are eager you can continue to build upon what you have already. Like I said, neither is bad because both are getting you to take action.
It all comes back to Chapter 1 and viewing your problems as opportunities.
I was eager to leave the job I was at but I wasn’t eager to go into that same job anymore.
Figure out which one works best for the situation you are in. Whichever one gets you up and living is the one you want to focus on.
Leverage The Past:
Listen, I understand that sometimes, no matter what we do, we can not muster the drive to do what we need to. There have been projects I started and quit halfway through. For me, this is my unconscious mind keeping me safe in my comfort zone. I was stuck in the past.
Ten years ago, my weight crept up to an unbearable number. I, like everyone, wanted to lose weight more than anything in the world. The problem was, somewhere in my mind, I was ok with staying the same. I was afraid of getting the success I thought I wanted. If I wanted to lose the weight this bad, why haven’t I done so by now? I mean it was going on 8 years of yoyo dieting and getting no results. Something was holding me back and keeping me content with living this mediocre life. I knew I wanted to change but I couldn’t get the job done.
It started to change when I became ok with things not going as planned. I found power in accepting things as they were. I had put myself in a negative situation. There was only one way out and I knew what to do. A big step in getting what we want is realizing we are in a rut and setting up a plan of action. There was no judgment on my part. No feelings of being a helpless victim. I knew the steps that got me here, but now I knew how to back on track. The future was in my head and I could get there through action.
When I stopped blaming my shortcomings on all the stuff I didn’t have, I was able to reach my goals using everything I did have.
I took stock in all my shortcomings and brought them to the light, I had the fuel to start working towards something new. The past was the past, I either stay where I am or build a future to be proud of. By separating my emotions from past mistakes, I was able to start accomplishing my goals.
Regret and Anxiety:
We can have BIG goals. I love striving for things that seem unattainable. For example, I love writing and streaming. The chances of me becoming the next Ninja or Stephen King are unlikely. Am I ready to put in the time needed to achieve that level of success? Do I understand that I need less social media consumption and more writing? Am I going to risk getting less sleep so I can stream more? Do I have the strength to accept the responsibilities that come with all this? If I achieved success in any of these platforms, the demands of myself would increase. We have stress in our lives now. Could we deal with even more by becoming an influencer on a platform? Society and social media have made being the best of the best in demand. It has put a veil over real life. Social Media shows us the best moments in people’s lives. Instead of documenting our journey, we create false stories. What about being comfortable with who we are? Expectations of what we should be will get us nowhere. All they get us are feelings of depression and anxiety. Expectations make us feel that we are not living up to society’s norms.
None of what I said above means that we should give up on our goals. No matter what happens in this space, we need to move forward. If we don’t we will experience the worst emotion – regret. Long hours and working hard are the minimum requirements in this game. If that’s what it takes to reach our dreams, we will get it done by any means necessary. We cannot lose focus on why we started our journey to begin with.
Too many times we dwell on the things we don’t have. These things are usually trivial to our success. You may be saying to yourself, “I don’t need to lose weight.” or “I don’t need to become an influencer.” Which is fine, until you see someone that was in your exact position a few years ago having success in your field. You may see someone who lost a ton of weight or created the same type of content you were. Where they persevered through the hard times, we quit, and now we live with regret. We must take a survey of our actual needs, making sure our eyes never get off the prize. The process is a journey. One we must be willing to play for life.
If we want a better life we need to create a plan, take massive action, and be consistent. Our lives aren’t always going to allow us to be striving towards what we want. We need to be making sure we are executing at every opportunity we can.
Creativity takes countless hours every week. We need to produce and send it out into the world. If you don’t have the hours to spend on your goals, it may be time to reevaluate. Fake it til you make it can only take you so far. Do not pretend to be something you are not. Accept your life as it is in the moment and move forward. When you start to love the life you have, when you are grateful, time opens back up to tackle those goals once again.
“I do not want to hit the gym every day to better my health.” “I would rather spend time with friends and family rather than create a new business.”
Whatever your truth is then be 100% about it. Once you accept these things, you will not have a life filled with regret and anxiety. You will be present in your current life situation. The pretending will stop. It is here where we can build our plan for the future. It is here where we can pursue our goals, when the time is right, not when we think we should be.
Getting Out Our Dreams:
The thing about stepping back and evaluating your journey is that you can plan the best course of action to take in the future.
Is sitting down to write as bad as it sounds? I know that it is scary staring at a blank page, but in time we can create something awesome from it. You may sit down one day and only write a paragraph. A month from now, pages. Pretty soon, you are a full-fledged writer, writing every day. After that, you are publishing your first book. This is how we make dreams a reality.
What is the worst that could happen if we ask for that promotion at work? You get told No? What happens when we put up walls around our dreams? We will continue to be unhealthy, hate our job, and get the same results we have for years. Not to mention, a life filled with regret. The change starts with an eagerness to get more out of life.
Most of the time, we create chaos where none exists.
We envision our task and all the work that goes into it. This guarantees we never make progress. The best way to get the ball rolling is to be consistent. And the best way to be consistent is to break large tasks into smaller ones. When thinking about weight loss, we analyze how hard it will be to lose 100+ lbs. Instead, set up small goals like losing 1-2lbs a week. After one month that’s 4-8lbs. In a year, you can lose 96 or more! Time is going to pass anyway. You may as well make the days count toward something.
The weightloss example might be minor in the grand scheme of things. You may be facing much more difficult problems. No matter the size, completing small steps will lead to progress. Let’s take another example. You are holding something back from a friend or family member that you wanted to say for a long time. What if getting it all out will change your life in a big way?
“Am I eager to shed this burden and let it all out?”
When you think of it this way, you feel relief in having that talk. You feel present when talking, listening, and accepting what comes after. It may be the scariest thing you ever do, but you will be better off in the long run. The stress of communicating your feelings to someone opens up your life. It allows for more opportunities because it is your truth. When you are holding nothing back and speak your truth, you gain access to your self-esteem. This is when your spirit becomes alive.
More often than not, the problems we face are not as massive as we make them out to be. Where we mess up is by not seeing them for what they are. I understand that some issues are bigger than others, but some are like chains around our dreams. The dreams that will give us that fulfilling and successful life we desire.
Are you eager to break those chains to access the life of your dreams?
Become Eager And Succeed:
When we figure out what to pursue, life becomes a lot simpler. Time is going to pass anyway, why not make something of it?
Comparison to others is a toxic way to go through life. If anything, take inspiration from the people that are where you want to be and start your own journey. The focal point of your life is just that – your life! I realized the more eager I am to change, the better my life becomes. Do not dwell on the flashiness of the successful, but on the action plan of our future.
Once we figure out the path we want to take, we can redirect our focus into those goals. Our Self-Talk becomes a tool on our journey. Our subconscious assists us rather than worrying about people who are more successful.
When we understand the tasks we are eager to do, we can control our subconscious. Completing these tasks will benefit us. We gain an understanding of our passions. The thoughts we make up in our head will no longer hinder progress. Instead, we will use the strength of our truths to motivate us. The eagerness to put in the work can only come from us. Negative thoughts will cease to exist. No more saying, “I should not create because I won’t make it” or “I will not go to the gym because I am too fat.” These thoughts do not rule our lives anymore. The reason is we have identified them and brought them out in the open.
Once we have determined what we are eager and uneager to do, negative Self-Talk cannot survive. The walls you have put up, keeping you from a great life, come crumbling down. Nothing will hold us back anymore. The make-believe bullshit is silent once and for all.
Once you take action, momentum will build. You will become unstoppable. The tasks we put off for years are actually getting done. Eagerness will allow you to push through any obstacle on your journey. It will allow you to start living again.
Eagerness is the catalyst for everything we do. Can you feel the possibilities once thought impossible? This has worked for me many times in my life. It’s the feeling of new beginnings. The excitement of a future that has everything we want to achieve. The difference is, we now have the ability to get it.
When in doubt, ask yourself “Am I eager?” No matter what time of day it is. Regardless of what is happening at the moment, keep asking yourself this until you say “I AM EAGER!” We are training the subconscious to take action in our of life.
At the end of the day, “Are you eager?”
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