The Mask Of Masculinity:
Today I am going to review the newest book from Lewis Howes: The Mask Of Masculinity.
On a morning before work, I was flipping through my Instagram stories. An ad popped up like they always do after some stories finished. The ad was by a guy named Lewis Howes. He was going to show you how to increase engagement on your own Instagram account.
Being that it was free, I signed up. The webinar that I watched was decent. It gave me insight on how to create a better Instagram account. The webinar also showed me some tips and tricks I didn’t even know existed.
Discovering Lewis Howes:
After the webinar finished, I realized I enjoyed this Lewis Howes guy. I decided to dig a little deeper to see what else he offered. Lewis Howes is a former pro athlete and has written two books. The one I am reviewing for you today and another called: The School Of Greatness. Both of these books are New York Times Best Sellers. Lewis also has a Top 50 Podcast bearing the same name as his first book, The School Of Greatness. I haven’t checked out his first book or the podcast yet. When I do I will be sure to report back on both.
The book I am here to review is Lewis Howes new book. A book entitled The Mask Of Masculinity. Being that I am always looking for new information on how to improve myself, I purchased it.
On this journey called life, I am always looking for how to be a better person. More important than that, a better man. The title of the book resonated with me at this point in my life. I got married and will be starting a family one day. Reading a book on masculinity seemed appropriate for this moment in my life.
The Masks We Wear:
The big picture of the book is Lewis going through a series of masks that men wear. Masks that we wear to protect aspects of our life. What we don’t know is how these masks could be hindering our lives. The masks include The Sexual Mask, The Alpha Male Mask, The Know it all Mask etc.
Lewis goes through nine of these masks in total.
In today’s world, we learn to hold in feelings and be stoic. Society conditions us to not be open and, at times, vulnerable. The key to getting the most out of The Mask Of Masculinity is to embrace vulnerability. When we drop these “masks”, we will create better relationships. We will increase our wellness in life.
Personal Stories For Our Own Growth:
As with books I recently reviewed like Think and Go Hustle, what I love about this book is the personal stories. Lewis puts himself in the driver’s seat. He goes through topics in his own life and shows you how he overcame each mask. The book also has tons of examples from other people. Lewis has learned a lot from interviewing people on his podcast. He tells the reader how these people overcame the specific mask they were dealing with.
If you have ever worn any of these masks described then this book is for you. Let’s take the Aggressive Mask for example. While wearing this mask, you rage out at somebody because their viewpoint may not match your own. Lewis will show you how to overcome this. He teaches you that anger is not the solution.
Wearing this mask will only leave you worse off. This is the tip of the iceberg of topics Lewis discusses in The Mask Of Masculinity. If you apply the knowledge that he and his guests share, you will be able to drop your mask. Which will lead to a more fulfilling life.
My Two Big Takeaways:
The biggest takeaway I got from this book is on Listening. Most times I find myself not being able to shut the fuck up. I am always voicing my opinion and (deep down) wanting to be right. Lewis would describe this as The Know-It-All Mask.
The book taught me that the only way I can learn from people is to listen. It taught me to shut up for a minute and listen to others around me. This is the only way I can learn from people. I do not need to voice every little thought that my brain stumbles upon. When interacting with someone, take in ALL the information. Do not only listen to the points that coincide with my vision.
Another huge takeaway I got was about being passive-aggressive. When I am wronged or someone has an issue with me, I wear this mask. This book taught me to confront the issues head-on. Now, I don’t mean in a shouting or angry way. I mean in a meaningful and relaxed conversation about these issues.
The real issue I have is that I bottle these emotions. I walk around on edge and pissed off at these people. But what if these people don’t even know that they hurt me? What if they have no clue that I took offense to something they did? No one knows the exact thoughts going on in my head but me. My entire life I have assumed (and we all what happens when we assume) they know what they did and how I felt. I always thought they should correct themselves on their own without any input from me. Which is funny in its own right. The previous paragraph I say that I am always voicing my opinion. I guess that’s true unless I am pissed off.
The Conversations We Have:
The Mask Of Masculinity has taught me to have these conversations with people. The book taught me I need to be more open on serious matters and quiet when learning from others. I can’t walk around in a passive-aggressive haze until people figure out what’s wrong. As of this writing, I have implemented the tips Lewis talks about in the book. The benefits have been mind-blowing.
Now because the title is The Mask Of Masculinity doesn’t mean the book is only for guys. If you are a woman that has a man in your life, this book is for you. Lewis ends each of his chapters with advice on how to deal with men in your life wearing each mask. Some of the books best advice cater to women that may have seen these issues in men.
The Mask Of Masculinity is one of the best books I have read in 2017. I look forward to reading Lewis’ first book, The School Of Greatness. The podcast sounds like it will be incredible too when I get around to listening. Lewis is becoming one of the defining members of the self-help community. The Mask Of Masculinity was my first foray into his work and I can’t wait to see what he does next.